Emery almost paying attention. But notice the patch of flowers he's in? He's picking flowers.
For those that have known me since I was a child, you know my love of sports. My biggest sport love was softball. I was not the best player on the field. I know that. I don't even pretend that I was. However, I did love the game, and I had heart. Softball was always serious business to me as a child. I even broke up with one of my boyfriends when I was a freshman in high school because he said that I devoted to much time to the game (kind of makes me giggle thinking about it, actually). The sport came, some what, natural to me. The things that didn't come natural involving the game, I worked and practiced at so I could be better. So, it only stood to reason that my children will be some what natural at sports, and they will take it seriously as well. Right??
WRONG!!!!!!
This is Emery's second year of tee ball. Last year, however, he was in tee ball minor. It was the league for four and five year olds. It was the league where they didn't keep score. They didn't abide by three outs. Everyone batted and even if they didn't get a hit they ran to first base. It was organized chaos, but only slightly organized. Last year, the kids, Emery included, just walked around the field randomly. The girls would pull out their lip gloss that they had secretly stashed in their pockets before the game and trade with the other girls. The boys would throw grass and dirt at each other.
This year, I thought I was entering Emery in that league again. But he ended up in the league above, tee ball major. This league is for five and six year olds. They do keep score. They do track outs. If a player doesn't hit the ball, they don't get to automatically go to first base and so on from there. Most of the kids in this league are more serious about ball. Some of the kids even hit without the tee. No lip gloss trading and grass throwing allowed.
I was mildly panicked when I discovered this was the league he was in. Then I thought, "No, this is a good thing. He can learn from this. He must always pay attention. He must be pushed to focus and this will help." This line of thinking made the first half of the season a frustrating experience for both of us.
Emery didn't care he was in the older league. He went on picking and throwing grass. When it was his turn to bat, he thought it was a huge joke. He wouldn't even try to hit the ball. When he got out because he didn't hit the ball, he would run to first and I would have to go get him and lead him to the dugout with him upset at me for pulling him off the base. I would get frustrated, and at the end of practice and games, I would sit him down for what I like to call, "come to Jesus" talks. I would explain everything he did wrong. I would use a serious tone of voice. I wasn't being very positive with him at all.
I vented my frustrations to my parents, to Cory's parents, and a few close friends. All the people I vented to said the same thing: "he's only five years old. Still just a little guy. He hasn't even started school yet. Most athletes weren't made in a day. Be patient." I tried not to listen. I just wanted him to be great at this sport.
One night, after a particularly challenging episode at the ball fields (that involved Emery pitching a fit after the game), I was at my breaking point. I told Cory that I just couldn't do it anymore because it upset me too much. I told him I was going to call his coach and tell her we wouldn't be playing anymore. Cory told me exactly what I didn't want to hear: "Did you stop to think that tee ball isn't about you? Do you realize that you're the one with the bad attitude? "
Um... WOW!!!!!
My husband was exactly right. He reminded me of how we have always raised Emery. We have always focused on the positives with Emery. He responds better and tries harder when we do this. We down play what he does wrong. We don't focus on that. Instead, we try to show him a better way. Cory was right. As soon as I saw this, I began remembering everyone telling me that he was only five. The next day, I got on facebook and one of my friends had posted this:
From that point on, I have made it a point to make tee ball fun. If Emery is picking flowers in the outfield, I roll with it. I encourage him to focus when the batter is batting, but I also tell him if he wants to pick a flower, he can, and to save it and give it to someone he loves. If he misses the ball and gets out, I reassure him that its okay. I tell him that we don't always get a hit but that he tried hard and did good. When he does get a hit, I cheer, I jump up and down, and as soon as I can I give him the biggest hug. He seems to enjoy it much more since I've turned my attitude around.
If he chooses to continue in playing sports throughout his life, that will be great. But I've learned recently that if he chooses not to play sports, I will be fine with that too. Just because Cory and I were athletes doesn't mean our kids will be. He will find his nitch, whether it be baseball, some other sport, or some other hobby not even considered a sport. No matter what, I will be proud of him, and I will always attempt to focus on the positive.
If he chooses to continue in playing sports throughout his life, that will be great. But I've learned recently that if he chooses not to play sports, I will be fine with that too. Just because Cory and I were athletes doesn't mean our kids will be. He will find his nitch, whether it be baseball, some other sport, or some other hobby not even considered a sport. No matter what, I will be proud of him, and I will always attempt to focus on the positive.
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