My dear, sweet Emery,
Tomorrow, you start kindergarten. Can you believe it, little man? Where did the time go? I know it seems so cliche, but I'm very serious when I say it seems like yesterday was the day you were born. And here we are, over five years later. Looking in the face of a new chapter. I'm so very excited for you, and so sad for myself.
Firstly, I want to say thank you, little man. You made me a mom. You have taught me that there is no better award or title that I can hold (and here come the tears!!). Before I found out I was pregnant with you, I didn't want to be a mother. I just didn't think motherhood was a gig that I wanted to play. I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant with you. But then, at the first appointment, I got to hear your heart beat. I think my heart swelled that day. And it has continued to swell every day since then. And while I admit, not all days have been the easiest, it's just so hard to imagine you not being here with me all day.
You have taught me even more about unconditional love. Even when I'm cranky or tired or sick, you are right there to love me. You show me your love by needing me and always being under foot. You have taught me what true patience means. You have taught me that their is more to life than my wants and that I cannot be selfish. And lastly, you have taught me what it means to have my heart feel like its not a part of me, but more a part of you, going with you where ever you are.
I told you tonight that I am so proud of you. I truly am proud of you. I am proud of you for who you are. You are so loving and caring. You are such a ham. You love to make people laugh. There have been days that have been really bad for me, but when I look at you, it gets so much better.
I hope that you enjoy school. It can be a very fun and exciting place. Emery Thomas, you are so incredibly smart and I hope that you really enjoy school and learning. I hope that you make lots of friends. But mostly, I hope over the years of school, that you stay who you are. Hold on to your youth and your faith in God, people, and love. I have tried to shield you from so many things. And while school is not a terrible, dangerous, horrible place, it is a glimpse into more of the world than what I have shown you. Know that I am always here with open arms to hold you and cuddle you. I hope that when you have a bad day, you will come to me and be open about it.
I am going to give it my all to be strong tomorrow morning, but please don't be too hard on me if you see me shed a tear. I love you always, always, and always....
Your (excited but teary eyed) Momma
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