Grace: (noun) 1. simple elegance or refinement of movement
2. (in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.
(verb) do honor or credit (someone of something) by one's presence.
And now... a story:
Yesterday, I visited my favorite craft store, Hobby Lobby. It's almost like my version of a toy store. The thought of going there leaves me all warm and fuzzy inside. I always feel craftily (yes, I totally just typed craftily) inspired when I go there. And I love their rockin' awesome sales and bargains.
Of course, it was during the day. Emery was at school. And of course, my little toddler side kick was in tow with me. We were perusing the Christmas/Holiday isles, near the front, close to the check out registers. Then, I heard it. A child started screaming and crying. Based on the speech patterns, I'm guessing the child was toddler or preschool aged. And that kid wanted candy. Also... I kind of secretly wish stores would not put candy by the registers. It's always cause for melt downs.
That poor mom. She was just trying to purchase the items she had found in the store. Whilst dealing with an epic battle with her kid. And from what I could tell, she stuck to her guns and the child didn't get the candy. Kudos to you, mom, for not giving in to your child's tantrum. While it's stressful and down right embarrassing at the time, it teaches the kid that no means NO, and bad behavior will not be rewarded. You won't always get your way.
Any rate, as this epic fit was going on, an older lady approached me. She praised me for how adorable Annie was, and for how good she was being. Then the lady got eerily close to me. She told me thank you that my child wasn't a brat like the one screaming. She said that, that screaming child just needed it's butt busted. And she even said that if people can't control their children in public, that they shouldn't bring them into public. While I was stepping back from the stranger that had invaded my space bubble to whisper the judgmental thoughts in my ear, I just smiled and said thank you.
But.....
On the inside, I was cringing. I wanted to reprimand that lady. I wanted to tell her about the times that my children have thrown fits in public. I wanted to tell her the story about the epic, NON-AWESOME, fit Emery once threw at the public swimming pool here in town, simply because I wouldn't let him go of him in water he couldn't touch in and thusly, drown. I wanted to tell her when he pitched the fit, that I carried him.... All the way from the pool to the bathroom, on my hip while he thrashed and kicked and screamed. He was overstimulated and tired, and I needed to find a quiet place to sit with him and calm him down. Busting his butt wouldn't have done any good. It would've added fuel to the out of control fire that was already raging. But everyone watched me that day. Some people actually had the audacity to follow me all the way into the bathroom to watch. COMPLETE. STRANGERS!!
As I walked away from the lady yesterday, in Hobby Lobby, I silently prayed for that poor mom at the register. I prayed for peace for her. I prayed for the judgmental lady to reexamine her thoughts and find grace for mom's out there. I've been that mom who had the screaming child. I think we all have. And as much as other people say, "If that were my child, that wouldn't happen." Or my favorite, "If that were my child, I'd bust the kids butt right here and now." Well, if that were your child, you would understand that children are little people. We try to raise them up right. We teach them how to act. But they are learning. And, as best as parents try, we can't control our children's actions.
and.... AND.... AND!!!! What if that child had a learning disability? What if the child is autistic? Or has a sensory processing disorder? Or is starting to get sick and so the kid is more tired than normal and just couldn't handle it anymore? Sometimes, the best laid plans to shop around nap times and eating times to prevent tantrums can go awry. All I know is... I don't know. I don't know what the mom and child were going through. I don't the all the circumstances surrounding their existence. But I DO know one thing....
I can extent grace. And pray for peace.
Thank you for reading! What are your thoughts??
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